Parenting is hard

As the mother of three tween (one almost teen) girls, there are days when I'm not sure that I'm going to survive their journey to adulthood. Don't get me wrong, my girls are wonderful, sweet amazing girls who love Jesus and who are growing daily in their walk. BUT......they are kids. They fight, they talk back, they don't clean their rooms, and they leaves messes wherever they go. I think that sometimes I forget that I am a parent. Kids don't come out of the womb perfect. They don't know how to run and jump and skip unless we teach them, and they certainly don't know how to make a batch of cookies just because they've watched you do it a million times. Still, I forget. I need to teach them to be good to each other. I need to shepherd them through social trials and insecure moments. When I say, what were you thinking, and they say, "I don't know!", that's most likely the truth.

Some days I miss their diaper butts, and their innocent baby teeth smiles, their tiny hands and their sweet short prays. But those wonderful times have passed and new wonderful times have come. We laugh A LOT! We talk about grown up things and they are beginning to really understand. They have their own wonderful and even wise thoughts. They stand in awe of the Creator that we have always taught them about, and they love to serve in His name. We play games, we dance, we sing and we pray. It's wonderful to remember that there is so much good.

As a parent, sometimes I find myself operating out of fear. That maybe the choices that they are making mean that I am not doing a good job. But one day, I had a wonderful friend tell me that kids need a place where they are comfortable to mess up and learn from it. We are training them to be a blessing to the world, not perfect people at home. If they are pefect at home, then most likely they are acting out somewhere. This helped me to realize that when people complimented me on my great kids, that was conformation that I'm doing a good job, instead of making me feel lame because I have great kids and yet I still struggle.

So, I'm still learning not to jump into the mud pit with my girls when they fight. I'm learning that there is so much I still need to teach and not expect them to know. I'm learning that hard days help me to rely on Jesus more. And I'm growing more and more certain and thankful that He will fill in the gaps where I have fallen short.

All of this to say, if you are a parent like me, and somedays you wonder if you will ever survive, remember, you're not alone, you will survie, and you are doing a GREAT JOB!!

Going for a ride

January 23rd, 2013. Who knew that life would move so fast. It seems like only yesterday I was dreaming about being a wife and a mother, longing to taste the sweetness of the unconditional love that comes from those two sources. Well, here I am, mother of 3 beautiful girls, married to my high school sweet heart, and although I love them dearly and they love me, there is no such thing as unconditional love coming from my "dream" source. It has certainly been a long journey from 13 to 36, filled with trials and treasures galore, but my greatest treasure, and my sweetest discovery is the knowledge and true understanding that Jesus Christ is my ONLY source of unconditional love. Realizing that the Creator of the universe loves me, and that His love is not contingent on my behavior or appropriate choices has set me free in more ways then I can express. Don't get me wrong, I have a long way to go, but in this season of life, I have just jumped on the back of an unbridled horse and the Lord is taking me on a ride that I have never experienced before. It is sure to be scarry at times, when I choose to "look at the wind" as Peter did, but I am certain that my God is trustworthy, He is faithful, he will never lead me anywhere that He has not gone before me, and He will certainly never leave me nor forsake me. I don't want to miss a moment of this journey and I don't ever want to forget what He's done. So, here I am, jotting down my thoughts, my journey, all the while doing my best to glorify Him. Maybe this might bless someone else, and maybe this is just for me, but I have been prompted and I am obeying. Mount up dear friends because our God is taking us for a ride.